Spirit of the East, I give you thanks. I thank you for the guidance and wisdom you have shared with me. I thank you for the spiritual strength to persevere though at times my body aches and my heart is heavy. I thank you for guiding me in the way of the spirits and for bringing eagle into my life as a messenger of the spirit world. Help me to be strong in spirit, to never forget the interconnectedness of all things, to walk in beauty. Help me to keep my heart open so that I may receive the messages of the Creator and the spirit world. Help me to always remember to use what I learn along my path for the good all creation. I give thanks for bringing Grandfather Sun in the morning to remind me to treat each new day as a gift and to share that gift with all. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom. My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

For me, the east represents the power of spirit. It brings balance to the physical power of the west. When I look to the east, especially on a clear day when the sun is rising, I am reminded of the spiritual aspects of my life. I have come to understand over many years, that my spirituality ebbs and flows. How many times, when I was a Catholic, did I leave the church and then return. I never fully excepted the dogma of the church, but it was the spiritual aspect, the only one I knew at the time, that called me back. I have always been a spiritual person. I have always felt awestruck by a magnificent sunrise. I always try to say thank you in whatever way I can for all that I have been given. I am especially thankful for the knowledge and wisdom that I have gained over these almost fifty years. Fifty years. Has time flown so fast?

I know that I have not written of late. This particular writing is long over due. I had sought to write to each of the seven directions a separate prayer. My prayers to Earth Mother and Sky Father just seemed to flow easily. When I went to write to the Spirit of the East, which to me represents the spiritual ways, I was stopped. Somehow, it seemed I had writers block. Well, maybe writers block so much as a questioning. I have spent the past week or so pondering my spiritual path. Oh, I have not changed much spiritually. I still believe things as I always have, for the most part. I don't know. Maybe it was part SAD, Seasons Affective Disorder, or just a time of reflection, or just flat out tired from work and a new puppy and my usual running around. Either way, I could not write because I was unsure of where I stood spiritually. I felt disconnected. I found myself praying less and less. Not that I stopped giving thanks or other prayerful ways such as that, but that I stopped saying a daily prayer. The one or two times I did seemed forced, contrived. Had I lost my heart? Frankly, I think it is a lot more to do with being totally wiped out all the time.

I started to look back over the past year or so. So many people that had come in and out of my life. So much wisdom shared. So much caring. How many times had I answered the call to pray for another. I remember how I felt only a few short months ago, so connected to all things. Is it tiredness that is making me numb? Persevere. Yeah, I keep remember the Lakota teachings from Marshall. Keep going through all. Oh, I have not stopped being a spiritual person. I am just a bit numb from everything going on around me. I am not so worried that I am not saying a daily prayer as I believe I live my life in a way of prayer, always giving thanks, and appreciating if only for a moment, all of life.

I know I will return to saying my daily prayers. Spring is about to bloom and with that a blooming of the spirit. I could feel it. When walking Brandy the other day, I saw a flower trying to poke its way out of the ground. I felt a flutter inside. Maybe it is just the long winter we have had. Maybe it has been that the only time the sun seemed to shine was when I was at work. Weekends were spent overcast and rainy, or snowy. Yeah, maybe a little SAD, with a little overtiredness. Maybe also a bit of being overwhelmed with the goings on in the world, from GMO and cloned foods being put on our plates unbeknownst to us, to the current government and all its shenanigans, to health care issues, and my believed failings in bringing the people together. I have said a few prayers, or should I say apologies to the spirit of the Sacred Turtle and to the other spirits as I felt I failed in inspiring people to come together. I spent all last year writing about Unity and reconnecting, to what end? It appears to me that we are even more disconnected from each other and from the earth. This year I was supposed to write of Hope. I wrote one blog. Of course, that adds to my feeling of failure in my spiritual duties. Hope. Is there a way that we can bring all the people together? Is there a way that we can bring healing to Earth Mother and Sky Father? Is there a way that we can get people to return to a spiritual way? I see subtle signs of hope, like in the morning news they now carry a segment on living green. A recent report states that one of the growing industry sectors will have to do with green living. Are these signs of hope? A sign of change in the minds of people?
Maybe I will find those answers when I turn to the south. For now, I just ask the Spirit of the East to once again to fill my heart with the love for all creation and to raise my spirit so that I have more to give to the people. Spirit of the East, help me to be spiritually strong.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

Spirit of the South, I give thanks to you. I thank you for bringing the spirit of Coyote, the trickster to me, to remind me to not take life so seriously. I thank you for balancing the knowledge and wisdom of the North, with your heart and laughter in the South. You represent to me youthfulness and joy, hope for the future. Help me to remember to take time out from work and learning to enjoy all that the Creator has set before us. Remind me to lie in the sun and feel Grandfather's warmth on my face. Remind me to take a moment to enjoy the sunrise or sunset, or count the stars in the sky. Help me dear spirit to take the warmth of the sun in my heart and to share it with all I meet. I open my heart and share the sun. My heart to your heart, one heart one spirit.

For me, the south hold the power of the heart. I am reminded to look at the good things in life and be thankful. it reminds me to take time out from work and studies to enjoy what is all around me. One of the greatest blessings recently has been our new puppy, Brandy. Though I am tired from having to walk her all the time, it has a positive aspect in that I am getting out and walking instead of coming home and crashing. This past winter, she had a ball bounding through the snow. You could not help but laugh. Now with the snow passing, i find myself walking along at night and staring up at the stars. I see Grandmother moon as she goes through her phases and stop to say hello.
The other night as we walked I was surprised to hear a gaggle of geese honking as they flew along. I had never seen them flying at night, but in the still of the night, you could hear the rustle of their wings as they flew overhead. Why were they flying south? Curious that. Early in that day we had seen hawks flying over. I hadn't noticed hawks in the area before. Where I live, though officially a town, the section I live in is more like a city with postage stamp yards. Not quite the area one would think of for hawks. I thought, and I have yet to confirm, that I saw two buzzards land on a chimney. I am not a bird watcher, but these birds were huge. Have they been here all along and I am just noticing now because of taking Brandy out for walks? What else have I missed?
As many of my friends know, I have been kind of depressed and wiped out lately. I think I need to spend some time in the woods. I would take my kids, but they don't really care for trucking through the woods. Of course, Brandy does. So now I have someone to keep me company. Now would be a great time. With all the rain and snow lately, the streams are overflowing, which should be fun for Brandy with her being part water dog (Springer Spaniel). Oh, Brandy is a Springerdoodle. Now if the weather will just cooperate. It seems of late that the sun only comes out when I am confined to work. Maybe that has played a part in my mild depression. The weekends have been rain and snow mostly. Though there was sun last Sunday, but it was cold. Which of course, prevents me from hopping on the bike and going for a ride. I don't have the heated pants, gloves and such.
I have seen the inklings of spring with the crocuses starting to make their appearance. We have had glimmers of warmth with the thermometer touching 50 only to sink back below freezing. Tease. I am so ready for spring. I can't wait to get on the bike and ride. Nothing like going down country roads during spring. Though, in truth, this will be my first spring on the bike. I only got it last August and took the rider's course to make sure I knew how to handle it. Only a 40ci/650cc for now, but I am all ready eying the 90.
I am going to finish up the book I am reading on Cherokee History and put aside those studies for a bit. I got a couple of Hillerman novels to read as a break from my studies. I like the Leaphorn/Chee series. I have seen the three movies that were made starring Wes Studi and Adam Beech. I also have a book on MySpace so that maybe I can make my online presence look a bit more presentable. You figure a guy who has been in the industry for over twenty years would know how to do up a web page. Sad part is that my fourteen year old daughter knows more about web page design than I do. Yeah, but can she compile Apache? Heh, take that smartypants.
I think this writing comes at a good time. My last writing was a bit on the serious side, maybe even a little dark. I was supposed to be writing about Hope this year. Unfortunately, I have not had a lot of inspiration in that vein, but then again, maybe like with the hawks and buzzards, I have been unaware of its presence. It is maybe a turning point for my psyche as the coming to back to life of things around me, brings life back into me after a long cold winter. As some say, the biggest change comes when you change your perspective.  Until then, I will draw on the strength of the west to help me persevere. All life is a circle. We must try to maintain a balance, so I will take a moment away from learning to warm my face in the sun. Now where is Grandfather hiding...... [White Wolf looks out the window and sees blue skies and brightness and wonders if it will still be there when his day is done.]

Spirit of the West, I give thanks to you. I thank you for bringing the spirit of the buffalo to remind me to be strong. I thank you for bringing me strength and to remind me to balance my spiritual pursuits with physical to keep my body in good shape. I thank you for giving me the fortitude to persevere in trying times. Help me to be strong in all I do. Help me to be physically strong to withstand the day to day challenges. Help me to have a strong voice to speak out for those in need. Help me to have a strong heart so that I will have more than enough to share with those I meet on my path. Help me to have a strong mind so that I may withstand any temptations to stray from my path. Help me to have strong arms to hold up those who are weak. Help me to be strong in mind, body, and spirit.  My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

One of the hardest things I found was making sure that I got enough exercise. As a boy, I spent most of my time in the woods, running, jumping, and climbing. I had unbelievably strong legs, and I could run for miles. I remember the look on my cousin's face when his car broke down and I got out and pushed by myself. I just put my back to the car and pushed with my legs and soon had us going fast enough for him to pop the clutch to get it started again. I was a pretty good swimmer too. There was a local "gang" that liked to pick on me because I was different. My brothers, my friends, and I would go to this bridge to jump off to go swimming. One day that "gang" showed up and figured they would cannonball me after forcing me to jump first. I jumped off the bridge feet first and streamlined my body so that I would shoot down under the water to the big boulder that was deep under. Once I hit it, I pushed off out into the open water and swam underwater for quite a ways before surfacing. Oh boy were they ripped. A couple jumped in and tried to swim after me, but there was no way they were going to catch me. Another time, they saw me and my buddy in his back yard and came flying down the hill. My "buddy" ran into his house leaving me to face them alone. Instead, I took off across the street and jumped the wall and into the woods. Of course, because the woods were my second home, I knew the trails and even the off-trails like the back of my hand. I cut through the cedar grove and down towards the swamp. I knew that would surely slow them down because only a few of us knew our way through it. I managed to make my way back up to the wild grape vines by the road and peered out to see them going up and down the road knowing I had to cross it at some point to get back home. As soon as they turned the other way, I shot across the road like a fox with his tail on fire and into the swamp on the other side. Seeing they hadn't noticed me, I knew I could take my time getting back to my house. I went around the back side and then out onto my front porch. We lived up on a hill so I was overlooking the road. I yelled down to them asking what they were looking for. Boy were they hot!
I used to look back on those days and think what a horrible life I had. Because I was a spiritual person and many believed that I was destined for the priesthood, I was a target for every bully who wanted to put another hash mark on his victims list. So I learned to run and use my wits. I still remember that feeling as if I were a deer when I was running through the woods. Of course, it didn't help me all the time, like at school where they just was no place to run. I was in much better shape back then.
Maybe it is time and age, or just the beating my body has taken over the years, but I can no longer run like that. I did go to the woods once and tried to run and even got a pretty good gait going and held the pace, but nothing like when I was a boy. How did I let my body go like that? Of course, blowing my knee out when I was in the service didn't help. Having an idiot doctor tell me that I couldn't play volleyball, or climb mountains anymore because of the knee didn't help. I did find a doctor, actually a guy I grew up with who knew exactly what all my problem was. Once I started doing what he told me, the pain in my knee went away, but it seemed like it was too late. My body was really resisting any kind of exercise. Everything just seemed stiff. I didn't have the stamina I used to either. Though, that might be due to the Epstein-Barr virus I contracted when I was about fourty-one. Yeah, talk about getting ribbed when you get the "Kissing Disease" when you are in your fourties. It was transmitted by a coworker because we used a shared coffee spoon to stir our coffee.
Well, I am not giving up. The blessing in my life has been our puppy Brandy. At first our "walks" consisted of a lap around the house. That grew to be a lap around a block, then two, then three, I think we are up to five blocks now. I still haven't tried running again yet, but I am working on rebuilding my physical strength.
So why am I telling you all of this? Well, I am just sharing parts of my journey, the good and the bad. In doing so, we can learn from each other. Now I could have taken that first doctor's advice and stopped playing volleyball, stopped climbing mountains, stopped doing the very things that gave me strength. In doing so, my body began to feel older than it was. While intellectually and spiritually I was growing, physically I had either stagnated or regressed. If we are to walk in balance, we must give equal focus to the powers of the four directions. So with the help of Brandy, I am working on making myself physically strong again. Taking care of ones body, eating right, drinking enough fluids and getting exercise helps to stave off infections and keep us healthy. Being healthy allows us to focus on our spiritual journey without feeling tired. We find the power to persevere.  As my Tsalagi friends would say, Stiyu, be strong.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.