Halfway to a Hundred - Experience! - Part Three - The Letters

I have shared with you the journey that my wife gave to me as my fiftieth birthday and our fifth anniversary. Amazing month this September. Not only my fiftieth, but also my fifth anniversary, and my son became a teen . I have been struggling lately with my own spirituality. I have felt disconnected and really could not be inspired to write. Part of that was the workload thrust on me, but also this being the Year of Hope, I just didn't see any. I had spent all of last year writing of Unity and Reconnecting. Yet, when I looked around, I felt as if nothing I said made a dent. People were still rude to each other. People still did not care about each other. Even going to the woods found no peace as the dirt bikers were tearing up the woods and killing off rare herbs like Indian Pipe. I found that more and more of my time was being chewed up so that I had little time for prayer and ceremony. Add to that the rising gas prices and the economic downturn. Let's not forget the billions a month being spent on Bush's war. I just found it difficult to find any hope in this morass. So my wife sought to take me back out west and take me to someone to do a clearing way for me. I must admit, that it helped a bit. Oh, the world hasn't changed much, just my view of it. I began to remember that despite all the chaos around us, we still had a chance to come together as one people. One of my online friends, CowboyAngel, just wrote a piece about this using the Red Sox as an example. Looking back through the history of the US, we have had our backs to the wall countless times. Yet, when the chips were down, we came together as a people. Not the government, oh they don't even know we exist anymore, I mean the people. Look at Katrina. If it were left to the government, many of those people would still be homeless. It took groups like Habitat for Humanity and even actors like Brad Pitt and even Michael Moore to come together. John Stossel did a thing about this on 20/20 the other night. He showed the paperwork that has to be filled out to build these houses. I think he said that taped together the pages would go 1 1/2 times the length of Giants Stadium. Yet, the American people came together to help each other. In that, there is hope.
So maybe there is something to write about there. The thing that struck me this birthday was the most precious gifts I was given. When I was in Youth Ministry, we held retreat weekends called Search. During a part in the weekend, i believe it was Saturday night, we had Polankas. Polankas were letters written to you from family, friends, and supporters to tell you how much you mean to them and how much they support what you are doing. Well, that is what happened this birthday. It started with a card from my daughter, she is my step-daughter, but I like what I read from Ed McGaa once, there is no step in a family. They are either family or they are not. So she is my daughter. In her letter she said how she was not sure at first, mostly because of my sense of humor. In time, she said that she saw the way her mother lit up when I was around and how I brought love into her life. She told me how she was glad that I came into their lives. Then Cindy handed me the letter from her mother. Her mother said how when she first met me she loved my hair. I think it was a bit long then, but I think it reminded her of my father-in-laws hair when he was young. She told me how blessed they felt that I came into their lives. She said about how happy Cindy looked when I was around.
My sister-in-law sent me an email. In it she told how the family had come to love me and take me in as their own. She noted how I related to my sister-in-law Cheryl and thanked me for being there for the family when she passed. She thanked me for helping her when she was down. She is fighting MS and struggles at times to keep a positive outlook. She told me that I have helped her. She says that when she is feeling down, she hears me whispering in her ear to be positive and work through it. She also mentioned about how I brought so much into their lives and mostly how I had touched hers.
My father-in-law also wrote a letter. This is a letter I will cherish. My father-in-law suffers Alzheimers and while he does pretty good, he does have his bad times. Let me share just a portion of it:

Thank God or who/whomever had you and Cindy meet - marry, etc. Before I forget of my spelling hand gives out, you are chosen! One for Cindy + the rest of us. You always seem to smile (which at first had me worry) Now! I know its how you are.

There was more, but you get the idea and I would like to keep some of it private. I love you too Papa.
The one that really got me welling up and mind you, I had to hide it because she was looking just for that. A letter from my daughter. You know how it is as a parent, you really don't think you are getting through. If I cannot get through to my own kids, how am I to reach the world? I was thinking that I wasn't doing a very good job there. Then I read her letter. She went on to tell me about the many things the we have done together. She told me that the memories of climbing Silver Cascade and the many other escapades into the woods will always be remembered. She told me that she knows she fought me about going into the woods, but once there she began to feel the wonder that I was trying to get to them, but thought I had failed. She reminded me of the times when I raised her up, how I taught the two of them to face the odds and to have faith in themselves. She noted that even when she slipped up, I was there to help dust her off and be her strength. She told me that I had served as an example of the person she wants to be. And she thanked me for making her the person she is. Oh, she is not quite polished yet, but I will say that I admire my daughter for the courage she has shown at times. She is really becoming a wonderful lady that I am very proud to call my own. Now if I can just get her to treat her brother a little better. LOL.
In the end, what I came away with was the greatest gift of all. A reminder that no matter what, I do have the ability to touch people's hearts and help them overcome the odds. And, since this is supposed to be the year for it, give them hope.
So, I will close now with a prayer.
Creator, oh hear my plea. I ask that the people come to know hope. I ask that their hearts become full so that they feel that they need to give their love to others so as to keep room for the love you continue to send. I pray that the hearts of our leaders become open and that they reconnect with the people and the earth. I pray that we open our hearts, that we act as those who came together for the victims of Katrina. That we show love and respect to each other. That we work to raise each other up. That we learn to honor each other's path. That we remember that the only one not getting up the mountain is the one running round and round telling everyone else they are on the wrong path. I pray that peace, harmony and balance, once again return to the land and the people.
Hear my prayer
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit